Oh my god.I have "The Rage". Are you familiar with "The Rage"? It's when you just want to beat someone or punch a wall, and you spend your time screaming inside your head, tense and annoyed at everthing. Yes, I've got it. And it's all because of potty training.
I thought I was a good potty trainer. What I have learned is that my first child was a good potty trainer, it had NOTHING to do with me. My second, child, though, true to his personality, is to put it bluntly, a shitty potty trainer. Literally.
Matthew was a breeze. We waited until he turned three (I'd seen too many friends try early and then spend months or even years trying to get their kids trained, I had another child in diapers so I was in no hurry, it wasn't like diapers would end for me when Matthew got PT'd). Once he turned three we bought him cool underwear, read some books and bought him a GeoTrax train. The train was the key. He was allowed to play with the train if he was sitting on his potty chair. He'd sit there for 10-15 minutes and pee and after just a couple of times he got it. Pooping was even easier because he could "feel it coming" more and would always go to the bathroom. Unless he fell asleep I could count on one hand the number of accidents he's had since that day with the train. Within two weeks he was nearly 100% daytime potty trained. Ahhhh.
Then I met Ben. Have you met Ben? If you have you'll know just what I mean when I say Ben marches to the beat of his own drummer. He does things HIS way, nobody else's. He could be labeled as a difficult or spirited child but I just prefer to call him Ben. He's got a strong mind and I love that about him.
That said, he makes my life difficult. A lot.
And potty training is probably the worst thing yet. I hadn't planned to start until he turned three, just like Matthew. But daycare was starting all the kids in his class in September so I went with it. Ben is very smart. He got it right away, he wasa rock star. He was pee trained almost immediately, even during naps.
Then it became not fun anymore and he started having accidents and not caring. He'd decided it wasn't a big deal and so he peed his pants. We've gone back and forth on that, sometimes he does really well, other times he could care less and he just pees in his pants.
But the pooping. Oh My God, the pooping is going to make me loose my mind.
I think that Ben started out with some bad assocations with pooping on the potty (he was often constipated and it really hurt...those were the times that we caught him in time to put him on the potty so he associated the potty with pain - but we're over that now). Ben is that kid I never thought really existed.
He's the kid that would rather poop/pee in his pants than stop doing what he's doing. He can't be bothered. I'd heard about these kids but never really believed it. Oh, boy, now I do.
We've tried all the "recommended" things- sticker charts, candy, bribes, encouragement, threats, and even punishment (yes, I know they say you're not supposed to punish him but sometimes putting him in time out is a real trade off over me beating him which is my desire when he poops on my carpet).
The ONLY glimmer of hope we've had is that he has, twice now, pooped in his little potty chair if it's right within his sight when he has to go. But if he's not within five feet of it, all bets are off. Monday morning, for instance, he woke up, and promptly pooped in his potty, then came and woke us up to tell us. This morning, however, he went downstairs to get a puzzle and the urge came so he just pooped right on the carpet. Argh!
My only other plan at this point is to buy some more small potty chairs and put them wherever he might be (I'm not above following him around with a potty chair). He's too short to get up on to the regular toilet by himself, and doesn't seem to have the control or desire to hold it for the amount of time it'd take to get to a potty, hence the small potty chair right in his face or nothing. If this doesn't work I'm out of ideas. I don't want to put him back in diapers or pull ups because he's doing so good with the peeing and I know him, if he had a pullup on he'd most certainly just pee in it over stopping playing.
I'm pretty sure at this point he mostly "gets it" (he might still have some trouble controling it) but he certainly understands that he's *supposed* to go on the potty, he just is choosing not to.
I'm so sick of being elbow deep in poop. It's not cool.
Anyone have any other bright ideas or want to commiserate with me? In the mean time I'm going to fight my rage with a candy bar.
Posted
Jan 27 2010, 09:53 AM
by
Heather