Teen Angst - All Comments

re: College on the horizon amid financial chaos

brenda — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:45:36 GMT

My son is in his sophomore year at RMU. He lost half his college money when 911 hit. He commuted his first year since we live in Baldwin, it was only a 40 min commute and saved him alot of money. This year he worked with the football team as a equipment manager and they paid his room for the first semester. He wants to get an apartment next year and we want him to commute and save the money.

My biggest fear is the fact that we know 4-5 kids who have graduated from RMU and they are all working at department stores with no good pay. It's hard to explain to him it's better to not come out of college with a hugh loan to pay off.

re: Setting driving limits on teens

lynng — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 10:55:14 GMT

I love it!! My son has already went "round" with dad and I with his speed in the car.....he went "round " in circles when he ran it in a ditch... so dad gROUNDed him for it.

I htink that is what parents need....

Lynn Galbraith

www.yourkids1st.com

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Brian David — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:32:50 GMT

Interesting question! My older kids have me pretty much nailed -- when they ask a tough question and I hesitate over the answer, they know what it is before I say anything. Makes it pretty hard to lie.

I think a huge key here is how we remember our indiscretions and how we communicate. If it is "yeah, I did (do drugs, have sex, pass out from alcohol, etc) but I wish I hadn't, because it messed me up and made it much harder to get to the happy place where I am in life now," that is a much more helpful stance than, "yeah, I did, and gosh it was fun, and I have some great stories to tell, but you shouldn't do it yourself."

I do not, under almost any circumstances, believe in lying to your kids, no matter how well-intentioned. They WILL figure it out, on some level at least, and losing crediility with your kids is just a complete disaster.

Maybe part of the question is, how DO we remember those things? Wistfully, wishing we could go do them again? Or with real regret?

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Heather — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:47:55 GMT

I'm really an open book and if my kids ask, I'll probably tell them. I didn't do anything *that* wild and crazy, nothing I wouldn't expect them to be curious about/experiment with at some point. I'll be honest, though, and tell them where I screwed up and offer advice on what I'd do differently if I could do it over again.

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Catherine45 — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 11:40:14 GMT

I think it is important to tell your kids a little. You really can't just hide yourself from your kids. If they ask, you should ease them onto the subject. Also, to get your point across, do you think it's appropriate to trash Maureen. She has admitted she's had a problem to the whole world, which some wouldn't even do to their own kids.

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Dana-Furniture Expert — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:49:25 GMT

I disagree in a way. You need to talk to them in some way about mistakes you made, especially things like drugs and premarital sex. You can't just hide them from it and let them find out these mistakes on their own through trial and error. You are the only person who will probably tell them how big of mistakes things like that are, and it is important to take advantage of that. It's not like their friends are going to warn them!

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Lisa Q — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 03:10:25 GMT

Not sure where my brain was - I meant to write...

I hope I will do a good job of raising my kids to be sensible, to make good decisions, and to understand that the mistakes I made in my youth shouldn't automatically allow them to do the same.

re: Tell all or stay mum?

Lisa Q — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:07:08 GMT

My kids are too young to ask many of the really difficult questions so I don't have a lot of real life experience in that area. However, when the time does come I think I would want to give them facts about the issues they have questions about, but not confess all that I had done in my past. I don't want them to think that just because I did something it must be okay to any degree. In fact, there may be things that are okay now that won't be okay in the future (how many of us shared an innocent kiss with a boy in kindergarten without our parents receiving a copy of the school's sexual harrassment policy?). Truthfully, however, I was a bit of a goody-goody, so when they ask if I did "X" the answer will most likely be "no". Not to say that I didn't put myself in a few situations that could have turned out badly. I was naive and made some poor decisions. Luckily I didn't suffer any severe consequences. I hope I will do a good job of raising my kids to be sensible, to make good decisions, and to understand that the discretions of my youth shouldn't automatically allow them to do the same.

re: Setting driving limits on teens

Catherine45 — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:34:47 GMT

That is great! My oldest, now 20, was actually not as big of a handful as we all predicted. Though he wasn't to bad, the car was still an issue. But give your teenager a little trust, in which they don't need to be constantly supervised, and limited.

re: The waste in college recruiting

Lisa Q — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:19:04 GMT

When I was in high school, our local library had files of college materials. If you find that you have duplicates or info from colleges your daughter would not apply to for any reason, maybe your local library would be interested.

Otherwise, I think I'd put them in one of those fundraising recycling dumpsters. I believe they take most any type of paper (except for phone books). Look up "paper retriever" for a dumpster in your area. Then I would call the school and tell them to take her off the mailing list.

re: The waste in college recruiting

Heather — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 02:14:31 GMT

You should make her a prom dress out of them (ala the Halloween contest) :)

re: Kids and chores

DoulaKaren — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:16:46 GMT

I just started a chore chart for my daughter, who will be 4 in October. She has 5 chores -- setting sippy cups on the table, wiping down the table after meals, sharing, cleaning up toys, and putting her clothes in the hamper. If she gets 5 smiley faces in one day, she gets a quarter.

re: Kids and chores

Lisa Q — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 18:22:39 GMT

Thanks.

re: Kids and chores

Virginia Linn — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 04:08:11 GMT

Looks like you're getting a good start in teaching your kids chores.

As a side note, I stopped using dryer sheets in my laundry after I read an article in Prevention Magazine about how they're covered in chemical. In fact, the article cautioned consumers about using these sheets, especially when drying bed sheets because you'd be exposed to the chemical for a lengthy time while sleeping. I now use Mrs. Meyers non-toxic fabric softener. And I think I'd think twice about even having my teenager handling the dryer sheets.

re: Kids and chores

Lisa Q — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:54:12 GMT

My kids are 3 and 4. The only thing I have them do on a regular basis so far is clean up their toys, put shoes,coats and hats away. Oh, and they throw away the dryer sheets when I am folding clothes. Not sure why they love that task, but they do. They also like to dust and use the Swiffer vac and wet jets, so I can easily coax them into helping with those jobs. They don't do a perfect job but it is a help, they enjoy it, and it keeps them from picking fights with each other while I am trying to get some work done. The only incentives I have given them is extra smiley faces on their daily charts. At the end of the day, if they have more smiley faces than X's they get a sticker on their chart. At the end of the week, if they have at least 6 stickers on their chart they get a prize.