Good Lord I know just what you mean. Ben went through the really HORRIBLE twos, terrible wasn't strong enough to describe it. I blogged about a few times. and got some good advice 

http://pittsburghmom.com/blogs/pittsburghmom/archive/2009/02/19/the-terrible-twos-god-s-way-of-ensuring-we-don-t-have-any-more-children.aspx

http://pittsburghmom.com/forums/t/724.aspx

http://pittsburghmom.com/forums/t/2315.aspx

I have to admit that two's were fairly easy.  There were very few tantrums, just lots of tears.  I would make her sit on the bottom step by herself until she was finished and ignore her.  She learned quickly I wouldn't tolerate it.  Three was worse, because she got louder, and the tears flowed much more often, and she started talking back.  She still has to go sit on the bottom step until she's "done" and she generally doesn't like it.  Now she's four, acts like she's fourteen.  Sigh.....  Good Luck.  We've all been there, and this too shall pass, although it doesn't seem like it.

thanks for the links and advice.   Great news to hear they "perfect" their craft when they're 3, :-)

But seriously, I think being crazy right back and putting them in time out are great starting points.  We've recently been sending him to his room to sit on his froggy chair for that, but think we need to be more consistent with it.