I appreciate everyone's comments. I feel so much better about my decision. I am happy to say that my sis-in-law must have realized how unreasonable she was being (or at least how rude she was to me) because she left me an apologetic message. I feel bad that I have not called her back, but I am afraid her "evil" personality will emerge again and I will get another lecture.

There is nothing special about my sis-in-law's situation; I think it is more that times are different now and it seems to be the norm for many people to get help from family. I know how overwhelmed I would be if I had three kids ages 4 and under, but that is part of the reason I don't (and I know the craziness if only temporary). I am sure my SIL is also upset that her family has really dropped the ball/not come through. And I am sure she is also hormonal.

My mom is heading out there to be with her for a week, so that will be some help.