The most read story on Parenting.com this week was a 4,000-word essay entitled "Mad at Dad".  The essay discussed the results of a survey done by Parenting of nearly 1,000 mothers who confessed their alarming levels of anger at their husbands.  Like every woman, I admit to getting pissed at my husband way too often. The author sums up the findings well:

We love our husbands -- but we're mad that we spend more mental energy on the details of parenting. We're mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. We're mad that these guys, who can manage businesses or keep track of thousands of pieces of sports trivia, can be clueless when it comes to what our kids are eating and what supplies they need for school. And more than anything else, we're mad that they get more time to themselves than we do.

Nearly half of moms admit to getting irate with their husbands at least once a week (makes sense, at least once a week the laundry needs to be picked up off the floor, the toilet paper roll needs to be changed, the dishes need to be put away).

Another half of moms admit to being "peeved" that dads don't notice things that need to be done around the house (see my paragraph above).

And the straw that broke the angry camel's back? Nearly half of moms say they get angry that dad doesn't know how to properly take care of the kids and can't multitask.

Did I just describe your husband? To a tee?

Me too.  God I love the man, but ask him to do more than one thing at a time and his eyes glaze over like a deer in headlights.  I nag him constantly to pick up his dishes, to put his shoes away and to take out the garbage.  If I leave him alone with the kids I must leave explicit instructions on their care. If it's not on the list, it doesn't get done (FEED THEM?!?! You didn't write down feed them!!)

Of course, the experts weigh in and point out that all this anger isn't good for us. No sh*t Dr. Freud.  I could have told you that. My husband could have told you that.

I've come to a bit of a zen place about my anger.  I have discovered two things that help me (most days) keep my anger to a minimum:
1. Most, if not all, men are the same. If I divorced my husband and married someone else I'd end up with the same complaints.
2. Life isn't fair. As much as we'd like there to be a 50/50 division of labor in a houshold, it's just not meant to be. And the sooner I got "over that fact" the less angry I became. It sucks, no doubt, that women are left with the lion's share of the household duties, but it's just life.  Suck it up. Or be angry.

But I won't lie. my zen approach only works half of the time. The other half I run around the house like a raving lunatic with sixteen shoes in one hand and an empty toilet paper roll in the other screaming MIIIIKKKEEE!!!!!

So I ask you:
-How often do you feel "the rage" toward your husband?
-Do you think men aught to be doing more?
-Do we have a right to be so angry?