I never enjoy writing about the negative behavior of my children. I'd much rather gush about how wonderful, which they generally are. But let's face it...they're humans. They're kids. And they're not perfect. And over the years I've tried my best to be honest in this blog and really share my life with you.
Ben's been going through a new stage (god, we're hoping it's a stage) where he shows his frustration by turning into the Tasmanian devil. He's always been the type of kid to be very physical. That includes both positive behaviors like riding a bike early along with negative behaviors like hitting.
My kids continue to be such different people. When Matthew is sad or frustrated he tends to cry, whine or tattle. Ben, on the other hand, tends to kick, hit or throw things. It's always been this way, but never that serious.
Lately, though, Ben has decided to turn into the Incredible Hulk when he gets mad. He gets this crazy look on his face and just starts destroying things. He throws anything within his reach and even kicks, hits and scratches anyone that tries to stop him. It's completely unacceptable and we need to nip it in the bud.
As with most things with Ben, it's likely a phase to see if he can get a reaction from us. He's not really a bad kid. He never gets like this at school, he reserves it for us (rolleyes).
We've tried time outs, we've tried punishment, we've tried reward for good behavior, we've even tried physically holding him (gently) to stop him from hurting anyone. Nothing much seems to get through to him. The best method so far seems to be just calmly putting him somewhere safe (his room) and letting him work it out while showing him no real reaction on our part. That seems to work ok in the heat of the moment.
But even if it's just a passing phase, it's worrying me. I hate that he is a fighter. I have known men my whole life who are passive and those who are agressive. I've met plenty of people that would throw a punch in a bar when they get mad. I don't want that to be my kid. I pray that he doesn't grow up and get into fights. But I worry. A lot. I love that little man so much and I just want him to always act like the wonderful kid I know he can be.
Do any of you have "physical kids"? If so, how do you help shape and nurture them into being lovers instead of fighters?